What if
bi-polar disorder isn't a disorder, or a disease, but a phenomenon? ...something that we may all experience to varying degrees, but for some, a phenomenon which runs out of control? ...what if we understood the phenomenon as a normal cycle, and taught those who are prone to spiraling out of control: 1) what the phenomenon is all about, 2) what to expect from the experience (the good and the bad), 3) how to recognize the phenomenon, and 4) how to regulate the phenomenon.
Those who have experienced being deeply in love know: The head over heels euphoria is intoxicating. Whether powered by imagined potential or actual reciprocation, the intoxication can become addiction. Pull that relationship apart suddenly and we're devastated... heart-broken. To be "in love" is to open our heart to another, to feel the connection that comes from that openness, to feel the energy that enters our heart, and the euphoria that comes from the power of love.
Where the "in love" experience is about openness of the heart, "mania" (the positive side of the bi-polar experience) is about openness of the mind.
Bipolar is an
intellectual emotional experience: Open your mind to another, to others, or the Universe, and feel the energy. Elation. Purpose. Enthusiasm. Drive. Connection. Clarity. The power is intoxicating. It feels like you can think anything, create anything ...do, anything!
The early stages of this intoxication trigger a dopamine rush which feels extraordinary... this is a happy time. And like the "in love" experience, no one can tell you that it's wrong!
Often, the experience is easy to mask. In the early stages, it's controllable, and seems normal. And, in fact, carefully regulated, it remains controllable; thought and behavior remain in normal ranges. We all do it to varying degrees. This is what life is all about: purpose, enthusiasm, drive. ...all three of these are traits we admire, right?
But, for people who are susceptible, the cycle can run out of control when they don't understand the experience. Like opening your heart to first love, for those who are prone to intellectual openness, and those who are prone to addiction, the intoxication that results from opening your mind is as real as intoxication from alcohol; it's a chemical phenomenon.
Excitement, enthusiasm, the ideas... all encourage less sleep. During sleep, new ideas pour into the newly opened mind. Why sleep? The world is alive. The ideas are flooding in... new understandings... old knowledge connecting in new ways... inspiration. Now, is a time for action, not sleep!
And the cycle has begun.... The failure to regulate the rush of ideas, energy and enthusiasm yields changes in eating patterns, disruption in the sleep cycle and a reduction in deep sleep each night. Increased energy levels, accelerated speech, heightened intellect, and shifts in attitude, focus and priorities become externally visible. At this point, the phenomenon may become visible to others. But to the uninitiated, the signs are non-obvious, or may seem benign... and, initially, they are... The newly evolving symptoms seem peculiar... but are not clearly "a problem."
Two or three nights of this cycle can be disruptive, but they're not the end of the world. A change in pace; a day or two of regular meals; exercise; and a few nights of regular sleep... things can return to a normal balance.
But with the first experience, the doorway has been opened. From that time on, the person who has profoundly experienced their "open mind" will have the ability to return to that state. Without greater understanding, they'll be prone to going further into the addictive cycle. And without appropriate controls, they'll be prone to allowing that cycle to cascade out of control.
Sleep disruption and deprivation, irregular meals, and activities that increase focus on thought -- especially enthusiastic communication with others -- will promote the cycle.
Lack of food ultimately means a lack of energy. The biological lack is counterbalanced by the energetic intake via the open mind. This may or may not be a problem...
What is definitely a problem is the lack of sleep.
Sleep is your body's mechanism for removing waste from the brain. Increased thought results in increased energy consumption in the brain. Increased energy consumption produces increased waste products. But a lack of sleep means an accumulation of waste in the brain.
This is the aspect of the bi-polar phenomenon that can legitimately be treated like a disease. A person who will not sleep, and isn't eating will rapidly develop an abnormal brain chemistry. And, the cascade that results from this phase of the experience is both visible, and can cause real harm... to the individual, and to those around them...
At this stage, we enter full-blown mania. Control becomes less of an option. Thoughts and behaviors become erratic. Although the individual may seem lucid, and will exhibit high levels of self-control, the racing thoughts, the extraordinary connections and insights, and the amped up dopamine cycles will all combine to create a life experience that is both extraordinary, and terrifying.
From this stage, returning -- gracefully -- without external intervention -- is unlikely. Without intervention, the natural recovery from the extreme manic cycle is the crash... a full-scale collapse of systems, thought, feeling... and deep withdrawal from the dopamine high.
From the highest highs... we hit the lowest lows. Thought is uninspired. Motivation gone. Purpose lost. Hope becomes hopelessness. The high is remembered, but serves only to amplify the current pain.
Recovery from mild depressive cycles is possible with sleep, a return to a regular diet, and a non-threatening environment. A shift in focus. Gentle exercise. Recovery and stabilization.
But at this state, there's a high risk of rapid cycle. Recovery without a shift in activities yields the opportunity to spin up the positive cycle again. Most will eagerly resume the cycle. But if nothing has changed, the greatest potential is that the cycle will repeat with greater amplitude until the final crash is sufficiently devastating that it brings outside intervention.
At the extreme, the depressive cycle becomes a full-blown disease. Chemical imbalance. Ongoing mood, sleep, thought disorder... but now, in a very negative space. From here, intervention is difficult... all "help" is perceived as a threat. The individual is often correct in perceiving that "no one understands" -- both the highest highs and the lowest lows have opened a view on the world that they know "no one else knows." The alienation that comes from feeling misunderstood can promote violent anxiety, paranoia and fear. Although these feelings are merely a symptom of the underlying problem, they can become the focal-point for the treatment, causing a further cascade out of control into complete disorientation and terror.
Finding someone else who has been through the experience, or is at least open to learning about the experience, and can help the individual navigate their mind is key. The loss of dopamine, and the resulting withdrawal is overwhelming, and the desire to return to the manic state can become uncontrollable.
The wrong sort of intervention, or perceived threat, can amplify the depressive cycle further. Without understanding, the cascade can continue. It gets worse. At the extreme, nothing matters. Physical motivation may become impossible. Lack of desire to eat. Lack of desire to function. And, in the extreme: no desire to live. At this stage, suicide enters the individual's thoughts as a viable alternative to the misery and suffering. Hopelessness amplifies those thoughts.
But it can get better: Sleep. Regular diet. Gentle exercise. Informed compassion. Gentle guidance into positive experiences. Positive music. Carefully guided discussion.
Recovery from any stage of the experience is possible.
Although medication can help with driving a return to a normal sleep cycle, the wrong medication strategies can cause further harm... rapidly.
Recovery without medication is also possible, but requires insight that is rare. It also requires deep thoughtfulness, compassion, and courage from those closest to person going through the bipolar experience.
